Double Edge Sword

i was up and down all night. so was mr. c. and, so was cade.

therefore, i'm a little cranky. please forgive me.

it all started friday. i took my two healthy kids to the pediatrician's office for a wellness visit. i was pretty sure they were up to date on all immunizations...but, i wanted to make sure. and i was right. no shots needed. they were growing perfectly. right on schedule.

with everyone feeling good, we were ready to leave. but, wait. our doctor strongly encouraged flu shots. with cade's history, she felt there was no question. i haven't had them get flu shots in the past...because of convenience...it was always hard to get in for an appt...so, i didn't bother. and. we never had any problems. within twelve hours of getting the vaccine - he was fevered. and, he held the fever for three days. last night, he didn't have a fever...but, he was up with a sore throat and cough. so. is this little bout of sickness going to be the most we see all season? was the shot worth it? maybe he would have gotten sicker - later...if we didn't get the shot.

it is very frustrating. knowing what is best for your babies.

as i snuggled with him last night...a million thoughts clouded my head. he was so peaceful and sweet as he slept. with his hands tucked under his cheek...like an angel (those horns only come out during the day). i thought of all that his little body has endured in his short life. and how lucky we are that we could afford insurance...and the medical bills. but, what if we couldn't? i know there are government programs to assist those who can't afford it...but, what if we were somewhere in the middle? what if we couldn't afford it...but, we didn't qualify? we. would. lose. everything. including the health of our baby.

i started getting so angry. as i laid there. in the middle of the night. thinking about all of these damn politicians arguing over health care reform. angry, bitter people yelling at each other at town halls. and what are they accomplishing? nothing. absolutely nothing. the wedge dividing our country is getting bigger. and. people are dying. because there is no adequate health care.

when mr. c and i visited italy, we spent a great deal of time with one particular tour guide. we talked at great lengths about the differences in our countries. she did not understand our health system. yes, her taxes were a little higher...but, anyone - regardless of race, gender, age, economic class -anyone was able to be seen by doctor, hospitals...

receive treatment and medications.

i know people say, "but, i work hard. i have earned that insurance. i'm not paying for anyone else." news flash: we are paying for it. and. there are others working just as hard, maybe even harder...but,they are still not offered insurance.

i don't know what the answer is. but, i do know there is a solution. other countries have found it. we can to. if we can all just look past the end of our own noses...we just may find it.