Why Flourish?

*This post was originally written 2/2023

I'm turning 50. In fact, I'm turning 50 in a few days. Although I had the vision of flourish months ago (in the middle of a massage), my goal was to launch around my birthday.

I have been looking forward to this day for a while now. (Yes, I'm excited to turn 50). I feel good. I am happy. I am healthy. I am learning how to set boundaries. I am learning how to say no... and yes. I have 50 years of life under my belt and I am a little wiser for it. Life has it's bumps. Sometimes those bumps are more like cliffs, but all in all, life is good. I am grateful for the tough times for they have made me stronger. They have made me, me and I like who I am.

The past couple of years have thrown some curves my way. I have experienced great loss and had my heart broken. I have made some poor choices and have grown because of them. I have had moments of feeling lost, hurt, confused and grateful, happy, secure. I saw a therapist and divulged all of my worries and fears. I cried. I laughed. I triumphed. I found a path.

The path was to flourish! In the late summer of 2022, I was lost. Earlier in the year, I had left a job I loved and was hurt in the process. I was't sure my husband and I were on the same path. I questioned my parenting skills. I didn't have a title or name badge. I didn't know what or who I was. I was grasping at straws. I began seeing a therapist for the first time in my life. She was amazing. (I highly recommend therapy). She helped and guided me towards a path and helped me see why I am the way I am.

One Sunday afternoon, my husband and I had treated ourselves to massages. While melting into the table, I had an "aha" moment. I wanted to create positive places for women to gather. A place to exercise, laugh, talk, learn, grown...flourish. With thirty years of experience in the fitness industry, I know how to teach a variety of formats. I also know how important it is to make everyone feel welcomed and comfortable. Plus, we must always have a good time! And, as a woman (now in her 50's), I know how confusing our bodies are and how little we understand what is going on with them. Let's learn together!

While brainstorming ideas with my 22 year old daughter she said, "I have the perfect name. Flourish." After looking up the definitions, I knew she had come up with something good.

I'm excited to grow this into a community! Please join me as we grow and flourish together. What do you want to discuss and learn? What days are best for some fun workouts? Have something to teach us? Let me know! This isn't just me...it's us!

Flourish (n): an instance of suddenly performing or developing in an impressively successful way,

Flourish (v): to grow or develop in a healthy or vigorous way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.

Vulnerable New Year

(This was originally written January 2024).

Nine years ago, I woke up with one deflated boob. Nine years and 10 months before that, I had plastic surgery for saline breast implants. Because of the deflated one, I opted to have surgery again. This time the pockets were filled with silicone bags. I struggled with the decision to go through it again, but everything I read about removal was scary and ugly. So I had a second breast implant surgery. Voluntarily.

How it started: After having my second baby, I had lots of loose skin where boobs should be. Nothing fit. I didn't feel sexy. I made the decision to have an elective surgery I swore I would never do. In fact, I judged other women who did it. (Not proud of that confession). I had my baby in August 2004, met with a surgeon that December and had implants by March 2005. (The fact that I was making these decisions postpartum is wrong on so many levels. Counseling should have definitely been a part of this process). By January 2015 I did it again.

Life went on for the next 8 years. I was healthy. Things were fine. Until I had to have a breast biopsy in January 2022 because a mass they were following had grown. Thankfully, it was benign, but it was enough to get me thinking about what was in my body. Plastic bags filled with silicone. Chances were I would have to have them replaced again at some point in my life. I didn't want that. And they got in the way. They were too big. I was no longer comfortable in my own skin. I wasn't me. I was over them. By May 2022, days before my daughter's college graduation, I had them removed. Instantly I felt better. Even when I was able to remove the bandage and I looked like the bride of Frankenstein, I felt better. (Scars run all the way beneath my breast, up and around the nipple. They have faded, but still there. I will take them).

Some women have experienced illness from implants. I didn't. However, I feel freer, leaner, and healthier now that they are gone. In a strange way, I feel sexier. I feel sexier because I am me again. I am more comfortable in my own skin at almost 51 than I have ever been.

With all this said... I don't regret having them. I went through years of liking the way I looked with them. I place no judgement on anyone who has them or wants them. I have friends who have opted to have them removed, opted to get them, or had reconstructive surgery after cancer - choosing to get them or not. And they are all beautiful, sexy, amazing women.

So much judgement is placed on mammaries. Fore hell's sake. It's ridiculous isn't it?! I have wanted to share this story for a long time, but was too afraid of being judged. I didn't want to be vulnerable. (That is a very scary thing)! But I am grateful for my friend who shared her explant experience with me... making me brave enough to do it. Hopefully, I can do the same for someone else.

xoxo, mindy

(photo Nov 2022 by Desert Fern Photos)

To Be Happy

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it's all that matters." - Audrey Hepburn

Oh, how I love Audrey! But I had to mull this quote over for a while. Was that true? Is that all that matters? Just be happy?

So many things fill our plates of importance. Raising kids, fulfilling our jobs, making sure we maintain healthy relationships with our partners and friends, our health, caring for aging parents... the list goes on and on, but what is at the base of all of it? YOU. As individuals, we must take care of ourselves in order to have success in all we do.

For those mothers out there... remember when you had newborns the steady advice was "nap when they nap." Yeah right! That was my time to get everything else done. But those older and wiser women before us - dishing out this advice - knew better. They knew if we didn't use that time to rest, the lack of sleep would catch up to us. We must put ourselves in the forefront!

It's hard though. For years, I put my kids, husband, job before my own needs. Somebody needed a sub at 7:00 AM? Sure! I got you! Kids need a costume and two dozen cookies by tomorrow morning? No problem! I don't need to sleep! Husband wants one on one time? Of course, me too!

We wear so many hats, we forget to take them all off and just be ourselves and seek what we need.

When my kids were babies, my wise mother told me to have a list of babysitters on the ready (for date night, etc.) and have one standing sitter a week - during the day - so I could go to lunch, get a mani, or go to the grocery store without littles in tow. Best advice ever.

As my kids grew older it became a little easier. I grew too. And I'm still growing. With age and experience comes strength and confidence. Now that I don't have anyone in school anymore (thank the heavens above), I have branched out and have taken some self love leaps I have been too scared to take before. Starting a business (trying to brush away the imposter syndrome), jumping in to a high level of competitive ballroom dancing, writing, exploring... and I LOVE it!

(Now, as I type all of this I am very aware of my fortunate lifestyle and the privileges I have been given. These are luxuries not everyone gets to experience).

No matter what phase you are in life - it's time for self love! Want to take a trip? Do it! Want to play hooky one day? Do it! Want to escape for an hour and get a mani or facial! Do it! Want to have wine at lunch? Do it! Want to spend a day reading, curled up on your couch? Do it! Want to have boudoir pictures taken? Do it!!! (I did this years ago and it was one of the best things I have done. I thought I was doing them for my husband, but turns out...it made me feel sexy and powerful)! There is absolutely no reason in the world not to just go for it. Whatever it is you are dreaming about! Not just "why not" but "why the hell not?"

Audrey is right. The most important thing is to enjoy life and be happy. We only get one. Make it worth it.

xoxo, mindy

The Windy City

 

A few months ago, Bob and I braved the cold of Chicago! For Christmas, we gave him tickets to the Suns/Bulls game in Chicago!! I had never been and he hadn't been in 20+ years. It was cold, but fabulous!

On our last morning, I went for a walk down to the lake. It was glorious! Miles and miles of trail around the snowy lake. People were out with dogs, running, walking and chatting with friends. Very much a happy place!

One day, we went to the top of the Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower). The views were amazing and the sky deck was... creepy!

It was surprisingly very scary to walk out on that glass deck. I knew it was safe, but still creepy!

My love. We had such a great time. On our last day we had a private tour guide. She was the owner of her tour company and had worked for Rick Steves in Italy! She was a native and had so much insightful info about Chicago. We went all over the city. Spent half of the time walking and half driving.

Outside the Bulls arena. We headed to the arena early, only to find out we had the time wrong, so we were EXTRA early. We waited outside in the freezing temps for about 45 minutes! Brrrr!!!! Once inside, we grabbed some hot dogs and sodas and found our (really good) seats! It was so much fun! Suns won! The fans were nice, food was good, entertainment was great! Fun experience.

Chicago had very strict COVID rules in place. Masks had to be worn and vaccination cards had to be shown EVERYWHERE! It was a bit ridiculous, but we had our cards and followed the rules.

I loved the city! I have always been a big fan of SF and I like NYC, but I think Chicago has moved to the front of the favorites category. I loved how clean it was and all of the open spaces. The history and architecture were breath taking and the food was scrumptious!  And I really loved being away with MR. C for 4 days!!!

xoxo

I Feel Good

 

(spring blooms on a prickly pear atop A Mountain)

On March 13, 2022, I began the A Mountain Challenge. The goal is to reach Mount Everest (equivalent to 40 laps) by April 30. I reached the summit and completed the challenge on April 8!

A Mountain is a short, but steep climb. (1,495 ft elevation) Not going to lie... by the end I was done with it. I was tired of the climb, tired of picking up trash, tired of the tourist in their flip flops... But I never tire of the spectacular views seen from the top! The sprawling ASU campus and Tempe Town Lake appear calm from my perch in the sky. 

I love a good challenge and I LOVE feeling good! It was a good experience and although I complained about the tourists, I did meet some nice people. One man in particular was doing the challenge for the second year in a row. He was 67. During COVID he said he "drank too much and got fat" and needed to make some changes. He lost a lot of weight when he did it last year and decided he had more to lose. He was out there every day. I was there on the day he completed his 40th lap. He had begun at 6:30 that morning. (It was after 1:30 when I saw him). We stopped to say hi and he said, "this is it.. My 40th lap!" It was also his 12th for the day!!!! (The most I did in a day was 6). 

Kind, friendly, and inspiring. The world needs more of that!

Fall in San Diego - October 2019

I begged. I pleaded. I dug my heels in the ground and said I wouldn't go. But. I spent five days of my October in San Diego anyway. (I know. I'm a brat. Who wouldn't want to go to San Diego)?

It was Cade's fall break and he begged and pleaded (obviously better than me) to go to SD. He has always been my beach baby. He could live in that water even if it is freezing and he needed a wetsuit. (Which we did buy day two of the trip). He spent four days surfing from sun up to sun down. He was in heaven.

Fall in San Diego is (as much as I hate to admit it) lovely. Temps were in the 60's-70's. I wore sweatshirts on the beach and the streets and beaches were far less crowded than summertime. The best part, however, was seeing this kid so happy. Mr. C was pretty happy too. (He also loves it there. I am the odd man out. Randi loves it too, but couldn't come with us because of classes).

Our VRBO was perfectly located on Mission and Beryl. We were a five minute walk from the beach, which made it perfect for two teenage boys. We were also walking distance from great restaurants and stores. We had some great meals out and were able to cook at our rental too. Some of our favorite places to chow down were: 

Taco Surf - burros, tacos, salsa...it was all delish!

Breakfast Republic - scrambles, homemade jams, and the Presley... amazing!

Biggies Burger - burgers, chicken strips and veggie burgers were consumed and loved by all!

Mr. Moto Pizza - cheese, veggie, and sausage were hits!

Better Buzz Coffee - Best Drink Ever (that's what it's called) was amazing! We all liked our breakfast sandwiches and almond butter/jam toast!

Cade invited a friend along for the trip and the two of them were fun and easy. A couple of times we dropped the boys off at Mission Beach (we were at Pacific Beach), so they could hang with some friends from school (and have a little independence). I think they had a blast. (I mean, how could you not? Teenagers in SD with a little freedom)?!

From Phoenix the drive is so nice and easy. A short five hours and you are at the beach! 

Although the trip was better than I expected, I can't say it's one of my favorite places. I still prefer the mountains and smaller towns. I would probably like the beach better if I were in a small coastal town... just not a city gal! However, I loved our daily walks on the beach and seeing my boys so happy.

xoxo

Be A Good Human - September 2019

"No matters what happens in life, be good to people. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind."

The other day, Cade and I were at the grocery store. As we were approaching the checkout there was a nice, older man giving out samples of his salsa that he sells in stores. Cade and I both sampled, chatted with him and bought a jar. As we moved to the line Cade continued to watch. The gentleman would greet everyone with a friendly smile and ask if they would like a sample. I watched as my 15 year old keenly observed people. One woman rudely declined the free sample. I just looked the other way and began unloading groceries on the conveyer belt. Cade kept watching. As we were walking to the car Cade said, "could you imagine being such a shitty human being? Would it have killed her to take a sample? She didn't even say 'no thank you'. She was so rude." I smiled. Although I may not have been thrilled with his word choice, he was so right. This 15 year old person with a kind soul was more in tune with people and the human spirit than that middle aged woman.

The greatest thing I can do in this life is to be a good person and raise good human beings. (So far so good).  I have two teenagers that I actually like. (I know we all love our kids, but don't lie...there are moments when we may not like them)! Mr. C and I were talking the other day and I said, "we have pretty kids. I actually like them and enjoy being in their company." I really do. They make me laugh. I love watching them grow into young adults. They are maturing and growing from their decisions (good or bad). My heart swells when I see them being a good human being and when they recognize the grown adults who are being sh*tty ones.

"Being a good person doesn’t depend on your religion, your race or your skin color or your culture. It depends on how good is your heart and how good you treat others.” Anonymous

(Cute jacket from ThredUp. Jumper from H & M)

xoxo